de·tour. n
1. A roundabout way or course, especially a road used temporarily instead of a main route.
2. A deviation from a direct course of action.
3.To go or cause to go by a roundabout way.
So recently i reevaluated where i was and made a decision with the helpful opinion of my best girls, my best friend, and my sister. I had originally planned to go abroad in the spring to Australia but being abroad now I've realized that even though I'm strong enough to handle being away for that long, there’s no pressing need to do it. Its not like i don’t have alternative. I realized that the only reason i was going abroad besides for the opportunity, was become i discovered this new found freedom and it was heady!!!!!! i enjoyed making my own decisions, living my own life, doing my own thing regardless of my parents opinions and based on that i just dove head first into everything.
Don’t get me wrong its not like i didn’t plan and analyze my trip to Australia before this. I’d planned and decided on that over the summer. Greece was the surprising curve ball. An international co-op as my first co-op wasn’t something I'd anticipated myself getting and when it literally dropped in my lap i couldn’t say no. I saw it as a great opportunity and a chance to start the travel bug that had bitten me a long time ago.
So there i was, going to Greece for the fall but already planned going to Australia in the spring. I told my parents and they were not for it. The fact that they had accepted Greece was enough of a big deal, a milestone for them and here i was pushing Australia down their throat when they had just accepted Greece. My reasoning was that Greece wasn’t my choice, it more or less chose me. Australia was my choice. My one first major independent decision. I didn’t want to let it go. I didn’t want to cave to my parent after discovering my newfound freedom.
I applied and got all my paperwork in before i left for Greece contrary to my parents feelings and without their permission. Then i got to Greece and the experience here is not typical of other abroad experiences. It not like studying abroad. And although it is working abroad, its also working abroad with a language barrier. So i can’t just go out and expect to have fun in an environment where not only can’t i speak the language, the same language barrier prevents me from fully and safely navigating the city alone. I started experiencing a feeling of nostalgia for my old life after just two weeks here. I missed my own routine, my support system in my friends, i missed my friends, my own busy schedule (because i had more moments of idleness here than i was used to) and essentially my old life. I had gotten used to a certain way of life and the social aspect I'd developed with it in the last year that I'd forgotten what i used to do with my life when i was more of a loner. So in the past week or so since i had this epiphany where i realized that i had to go back to the original oyin that came to Boston in fall of 2008. The girl that knew how to be alone without being lonely. The girl that knew how to find joy and happiness in the simple things in life be it reading or just people watching. The girl that knew how to be alone with herself and still be herself.
In realizing that i saw i had a lesson to learn from my next few months in Greece. Life lessons that i would appreciate and grow from. Life lessons and experiences that i didn’t want to jade my future experience in Australia. I knew that the things i would go through here in Greece and the environment i am in right now would affect my mindset going into Australia and i didn’t know if it would be positive or negative. I knew that combining that feeling with the undoubted feeling of homesickness that i would have come December would not be good for going and immersing myself in a new culture. I didn’t want my experience here to cloud my journey in Australia
Thinking about this i considered what would happen if i didn’t go to Australia next spring and instead postponed it. I looked at class offering and how i would arrange my schedule to fit it and i realized that it was possible. I had initially been going into it thinking this spring was my only chance to go study abroad but no…….there’s spring of 2012. It would still be possible. I wouldn’t be giving up my first independent decision. I wouldn’t be succumbing to parental pressure not to go and i wouldn’t be disappointing myself. I would just be postponing things till later. To a time when i can go abroad with a somewhat fresh view after being in Boston for a year. That way i can go in fresh and experience all aspects of the culture to its full potential without a cloud of my previous experience directly over me. Overall when i thought of it this was i felt better, like a huge burden had been lifted over my shoulder and my heart felt lighter.
I guess if not for the brief moment where i admitted to myself that i had a weakness; homesickness, i would have suffered through a year abroad where i possibly wouldn’t have had the best time of my life.
The decision: postponing a journey till you’re ready to actually embark
The lesson: the decision isn’t a sign of weakness but a sign of inner strength. Strength enough to admit to yourself when you’re wrong.
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